Eat sprouts, shoot heroin; Everyone has a plan for my future but me; Nothing is ‘cool’ when it starts. (1981)
I am working at a pizza joint on Castro Street - in the thick of the gay ghetto as it's called. It's 10:30pm and I'm making pizzas. Up with the dough, on with the tomato sauce, anchovies, into the oven and on to the next one. Tim is pissing me off. He’s been on something all day and is tweaking in the corner - he won’t listen to me and won’t carry on a conversation. I need a conversation because this job is bloody boring. If I hear U2’s ‘One’ again I’ll throw up. I used to like that song until it was drummed into my head like the smell of this sauce, burnt garlic, old mushrooms - and the flour up my nose. I’m shattered and I feel like worms are crawling up inside of my spine. I tell everyone I want to be an actress but I get distracted with other people’s problems. Tim has a creative soul but he is so utterly lost. He is tall, thin, and good-looking in a wild, expressive, speed freak kind of way. UFO’s communicate with him regularly. He talks about triangular space ships flying above the roofs of San Francisco. Along with all his craziness, he is a sweetie. He encourages me to be who I am. He’s the only one who believes I can be an actress. He says: “GO FOR IT Megan,!” and spins his hands in the air like an Asian dancer. He makes me laugh. Tim and I walk down the dirty, Victorian streets to Melanie's apartment. She answers the door with a soft voice; eyes wide open, and slowly lets us in. “Shhh, my roommate is sleeping we have to be quiet.”
Old coats of all sizes and colours hang on the walls of the narrow stairs that go up to the flat. Bruce, the cat, is waiting for us at the top with a judgmental stare. Behind Bruce, on the wall of the landing hangs a mirror, some posters, and photos of friends. There is an article of furniture leaning against the wall, no doubt obtained the night before on a dumpster run. Melanie is the ‘dumpster queen.’ From the landing, you enter the living room. To the right is the bathroom and kitchen. The bathroom door has a strange material on the outside that looks padded. The room is painted pink and black with a dim green light. A 1960’s poster of a bleached blond, pink lipsticked, woman reading ‘Was it Really That Big?” hangs in pride of place above the toilet, which by the way, flushes with a chain instead of a handle. Melanie has baskets and baskets of make up, and a good supply of cotton balls. The kitchen is a large room but it looks unused. No dirty dishes. Melanie has pillow stuffing in the oven that she is trying to dry. The kitchen table is a bed frame with a green Formica table top – found in a dumpster. A pair of stilettos stand on the table full of Sugar Daddies – I eat a lot of those. The living room has a working fireplace burning Dura flame logs. “Mel, you moved the couch again,” Sais Tim. She makes no reply and sits down. Above the door to the kitchen, is a glass shelf holding plants, burlap bags, knickknacks, and two wind-up zebras. Some bamboo tubes are artistically placed around the room. “I found the bamboo in the street. I think it might have been a musical instrument.” Sais Mel. She has a big stereo which can play loud, but she always keeps the volume at ‘2’. French doors with glass panels - covered with material - to the left lead to Mel’s bedroom. A closet with glass doors and cabinets fill up one whole wall. She has a collection of hats on the wall and a closet full of velvet. Boxes are stacked around in organized chaos. There is another room off of the living room that is the sleeping roommate’s bedroom. We sit in the living room talking quietly. After a while, Mel and Tim go to the bathroom for about 20 minutes. They don't bother shutting the door so I know what is going on and why she has so many cotton balls. I take my second Sugar daddy from the stiletto in the kitchen and wait for the stuff to work. “Can we go up on the roof and look for UFO’s” Tim asks. “No, but I can cut your hair,” Mel answers. "Shouldn’t we get going to the Nina Hagen concert?" I ask. "We've got all the time in the world," sais Tim and Mel gets her scissors out.